Womanhood, Motherhood and Grandmother-hood: Beautiful Dissidence. A Reflection.

The journey from womanhood to motherhood is a profound transformation that many individuals experience in their lives. This transition, marked by the arrival of a new life, brings with it a beautiful dissidence – a complex interplay of identities, roles, and expectations. While womanhood represents the culmination of personal growth and self-discovery, motherhood adds an entirely new dimension to this journey, one that can be both awe-inspiring and bewildering. Exploring the dissidence between and the beauty within has been a personal study of reflection recently. Enough so, I’m sharing it with you.

The Womanhood Perspective: Self-Discovery Phase

Womanhood is a phase in life marked by self-discovery, personal growth, and the assertion of individuality. During this stage, women explore their identities, pursue education, build careers, and establish their independence. Overall, we seek to find out who the heck we are outside of our own families. Womanhood often involves a quest for personal freedom, body positivity, and the celebration of one's unique qualities. Women embrace their ambitions, passions, and social roles, guided by a range of cultural, societal, and personal influences. It is a time for learning to prioritize self, make some great and some not so great choices, and learn from them all.

The Motherhood Perspective: Caregiver Phase

Motherhood, on the other hand, brings forth a transformation that is both exhilarating and challenging. The arrival of a child(or two, or several), whether through birth or adoption, introduces a new set of responsibilities and emotions. The role of a mother is marked by nurturing, caregiving, and selflessness. It requires an emotional and physical investment that can be all-encompassing. Motherhood often brings a shift in priorities, where the needs and well-being of the child/ren become central. This phase seems to last the longest, but honestly moves the quickest. This is a time of shifting for almost everything you discovered in the Womanhood phase. Almost all the things you were so certain of before are questioned during this phase. It can be overwhelming to raise little humans and not be sure of anything you are doing while simultaneously fully believing you are doing the right thing for this human all the time. We reevaluate our own identity daily.

We stop being able to schedule life for ourselves and our time is now filled with doctor’s, teachers, play-dates, and daily scheduling. One of the biggest arguments I had with a child was when I forgot to have a snack when they normally had one. Not kidding.

Balancing personal goals with the needs of a child can be a constant challenge. The weight of societal expectations are also a heavy burden. Society often imposes rigid expectations on women, both as women and as mothers. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy as women navigate the dissidence between personal and maternal roles. After gaining a peace during womanhood of the body image, motherhood comes along and changes everything about that same body you worked so hard to love unconditionally. So, you start over. Learning to love the body that gives children a place to snuggle a bit more unconditional love again.

Grandmother-hood: Wisdom & Legacy

This phase comes with a unique set of experiences and emotions. It is a time to be able to sit back, have fun, not be so worried, and share some insights. The legacy comes as you and the grandchildren are having those quiet moments. It is when you share some tradition your family had, baking cookies, playing games, or reading books. It comes in the non-moments of time. What I mean is we set up dinners, holidays, and birthdays to be some magical moments, but those sacred times honestly come in the quiet times. A question in the car asking why we like a certain song, or book. Why do we have photos of people in the house? What did you like to eat when you were a kid? Those moments are the most precious and fill the heart.

This phase allows the Womanhood phasers the breathe to acknowledge we have the wisdom from our previous experiences and are willing to share those lessons. We also truly understand what unconditional love is. The love of a grandchild is totally different from the love of your children. We come into that relationship from a fresh perspective; One of love, limited boundaries and responsibility, and freedom. We aren’t afraid of the world telling us we are doing something “right”. We just do stuff. For the most part, because we can.

Navigating the Beautiful Dissidence

While the dissidence between womanhood, motherhood, and grandmother-hood can be challenging, it's important to remember that it's also a beautiful and transformative journey. Here are some ways I’ve found to navigate these transitions:

• Self-acceptance: Embrace the changes in identity and priorities. Your worth as a woman and a human remains undiminished, regardless of the roles you assume. No matter if you are a stay at home mom, working mom (full time or part time), retired, side hustle mom, carpool mom, soccer mom, or something in between, learn to love yourself, whoever you are.
  

• Support system: Seek support from family, friends, or support groups to help you navigate the challenges of all phases. Keep looking until you find that group of people. It doesn’t matter if it is one person or a ‘tribe’ of people. Someone is out there waiting to be there for you. I promise.
  

• Open communication: Discuss your feelings and concerns with your partner (or friends) and create a shared understanding of the new roles and responsibilities. Keep talking. If you aren’t comfortable talking, write it out. But share it. Be vulnerable. It will be okay.
  

• Self-care: Prioritize self-care to maintain your physical and mental well-being, allowing you to fulfill your roles more effectively. Self-care varies for each individual, so find what makes you happy and incorporate that into your daily or weekly routine.
  

• Embrace the duality of life: Recognize that womanhood, motherhood, and grandmother-hood can coexist with professional success. You can be loving, nurturing and successful, whatever that looks like to you, while being your authentic self.

The evolution from womanhood to motherhood and then grandmother-hood is a testament to the dynamic and multifaceted nature of a woman's life. Each stage offers a unique set of experiences, challenges, and opportunities for personal growth and fulfillment. While these phases may have distinct characteristics, they are interconnected and together they form a rich tapestry of a woman's journey. Navigating these stages with grace, embracing the roles and responsibilities they entail, and cherishing the moments they bring can lead to a truly meaningful and beautiful life. Womanhood, motherhood, and grandmother-hood are all essential parts of the female experience, representing a continuum of love, growth, and the passing on of wisdom and tradition to the generations that follow.